An Unconventional View of Mentorship: Mutual Growth in Leadership

Storytelling as a way of passing down learnings from one generation to the next is an ancient form of mentorship. While this still takes place in certain environments, formal mentorship programmes are often sought out to build the talent pipeline when individuals are earmarked for big things in corporate life.

Whether you rely on a confidant, Swami or trusted advisor, and refer to mentoring as an apprenticeship, counselling, or consulting, the often stiff and structured process of a formal mentorship programme is seldom successful in my experience.

There are many reasons for this:

Mentees avoid bridging the “I already know” gap that exists: Mentees have to be open to learning and must make themselves vulnerable in terms of recognising challenges and admitting mistakes to achieve real growth.
Mentors and mentees are forced into a relationship: This is the case where those who would not normally engage are now required to do so, and are furthermore compelled to make it a learning opportunity for both parties. While there might be learnings, these may be accepted begrudgingly. More often than not, these sessions are postponed time and again with the “relationship” fizzling out in due course.
Just because someone is good at what they do, doesn’t mean they will be a good mentor: A mentor does not necessarily have the skills – or the inclination – to support someone else’s growth. If a mentor is forced into the role (as above) and lacks listening skills, patience and empathy, the relationship will not be one of growth.
The focus is almost always on learning the “good stuff”: You know that that is simply not what business is about! Successful businesses and leaders know how to have tough conversations, make tough decisions and face tough criticism. If such discussions are not dealt with during your mentorship sessions, you might as well call them what they are: chinwags.
There is no real goal or desired outcome: Without this, the process almost always creates some expectations that aren’t realistic. It also makes measuring progress challenging.
A formal programme requires additional oversight: Constant management – or more specifically, interference – by a third party translates into the manhours of three people being involved in the relationship (with this being compounded by some mentors having more than one mentee). “More important” issues trump task lists, and again, the process receives less attention than it requires.

So how do I see it? You don’t need to be a “grey beard” who has been around for 40 years in order to mentor somebody. Mentorship can come from anywhere – the more you expose yourself to different people and different situations, the more mentors (and mentorship opportunities) you will find. Furthermore, you learn good and bad things or what to do and what not to do from different people and different situations.

Consider the following questions based on some cliches and what can be learnt from them:

The old Chinese proverb of “When the student is ready, the teacher will appear”:
- Are you curious and open to seeing things – or do you “already know”?
- Are you able to process, assimilate and emulate?
- Are you able to self-evaluate and self-reflect?

Mentorship can also come in the form of reading, listening (attentively) to TED talks and studying. Do you invest time in self-development?
What do you choose to do with the knowledge and experience you have acquired during your career? Do you look to naturally grow and nurture talent around you?
The mentorship relationship has to be a give-and-take partnership if it is going to work. Is yours built on the principle of fair exchange?

By surrounding yourself with those who you wish to emulate – and taking time to actively listen to them – you will be well on your way to experiencing great personal growth.

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